Unfair
by Unny Gorey
Summary: Misaki becomes broken after being violeted by a compete stranger. How can Usagi save Misaki from loosing himself and opening up? -Warning: Yaoi and Rape-
1. Be safe

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

* * *

Brother- Why everything so unfair?

Misaki Takahashi was a 20 year old whom had just started work at a famous publishing company. The publishing company that produced the work of the even more famous Akihiko Usami. It just so happened that Misaki was Usami tenant... and that was not a coincidence.

And it was not a coincidence that Misaki was currently pinned under him.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki whined, using his nick name for the older man. "I n-need to get to work." He panted, trying to push Usagi-san's head away. But it would not budge.

Usagi just smiled, moving faster. Misaki cried out, all strength he had disappearing as the older man had his way. It was something that Misaki was slowly getting used to... but he would never admit how much he was starting to like it- maybe even need it. After all... it wasn't like he was gay or anything. Usagi-san was a special case.

By special he meant that he had not chose in the matter. Ever since they had met the older had been forcing himself on Misaki. Usagi-san really was a pervert.

However, after two- almost three years of living with him he had started seeing it in a different light. But not so different that he would just let Usagi-san get away with it all the time. He managed to slip from underneath him- grabbing at his shirt at the same time. "I told you already, I have work! I should be there by now!"

Usagi-san pouted a little. "You're no fun when you have work."

Misaki ignored him, pulling his shirt on. "Great, I don't have time to shower. I just hope no one notices." He wrinkled his nose- he smelt a little of sex but he was sure if he cycled quickly he would be able to breeze it away.

"Misaki."

At his name being called, Misaki turned to look at the naked man stretched in the bed.

"Be careful..."

Misaki blinked, and then smiled. "I always am."

* * *

Misaki grumbled into his scarf. He hadn't realised how much it snowed. This meant he was unable to use his bike as he could easily slip in the ice and hit his head. That was fatal in kind of weather. So, instead he was walking to the train station. It was going to be packed, he knew it. And there would be delays because of it but what else could he do? It was a couple of miles away. He could walk it, but it was starting to snow and it made the sky dark as if night. Train was a better idea.

Misaki ran to the train station, going to the ticket booth with speed. And as the sign saying "Route out of Commission" lit up, he slipped and fell.

Grumbling, he stood back up. He looked at the sign more closely. Apparently that was some sort of emergency works being done on the only line from here to where the publishing offices were. This meant walking was now his only option. Today was not his day at all.

He grumbled more as he listened to his boots crunch in the snow. He was going to be late now- he knew it. But at least there was a reason for it. It was not like he was late for no reason. He gave a small sigh and he watched his footfall, making sure not to slip.

He was watching his feet so closely he ended up making a wrong turn. He rubbed his face- walking to work was annoying. Just as he was about to turn and head back he felt someone grab him, holding him tight. A hand was placed over his eyes and something cold and sharp pressed to his neck.

His heart stopped from fear.

No words were exchanged at first. It was like they were frozen in time. But he was pushed to the ground onto his front, and blind folded. His world was now limited to sound and touch.

The knife was still pressed to his throat, a knee pressed to his back as a strong hand pulled his hair to pull his head up more. "Such a cutie~"

"I d-don't have any money." Misaki said shuttered, his fists growing numb in the ice. His mind was racing a million times a minute, trying to find a way out. He didn't want to die.

"It's not money I'm after." Came the voice that was obviously male, but otherwise unidentifiable. And as he found the knife trailing away from his neck a new kind of fear filled him. The knife cut through fabric, destroying his jeans. Destroying his underwear.

Strips of jeans bound his hand effortlessly, and he was flipped over. The knife returned his jugular, knees pinning his own. He could feel this person breath on his neck and a harsh hand gript him, jerking harshly.

Misaki yelled, bucking hips in reaction. The knife left his throat as the man favoured using his other hand to push his large fingers into the smaller boy's entrance. And those fingers probed him, beginning to damage more than just his body.

It didn't take long for the boy to climax- unable to take anymore. The barrage stopped as soon as he did.

Misaki heard the attacker lick at the sticky substance as if he was through a megaphone. "Tasty. Good enough to eat."

And then, something he was dreading happening. The man pushed himself deep inside the boy, deep inside his soul as well as body Misaki would have screamed but dirty jean fabric was forced in his mouth. His cried for help and stopping became inaudible.

In- out- in-out-grunt-moan- in-out- in-out-pain-pain-pain. Tear flooded down Misaki's cheek as a fever engulfed him- clashing with the cold feeling of his skin- the shattering of his heart. If the attacker could see the boy's eyes, he would see them glaze over.

Misaki just took it.

He just slipped.

A loud animalistic cry from the man signalled the end. He climaxed in Misaki, pulling out to cover him a little. He removed the fabric from Misaki's mouth and whispered into his ear.

"I was going to kill you... but you were so good I'll overlook the fact your heart is still beating." He panted with the afterglow of a monster act.

Long after the sound of crunching footsteps faded, Misaki lay there, panting. He felt liquid dribbled out of him- he knew it was blood as well as the man's sticky white substance. He shuddered, letting out a cry. He curled onto his side, shaking heavily.

He laid there with a broken soul and body.

* * *

It seemed like eternity before he even considered moving. He pushed himself to his knees. He needed to get his blindfold off. He tired moving his head quickly to fling it off, but it didn't work. He needed his hands. He reached up, trying to touch it. But he body hands touch only with his fingertips.

It took him a very long time, but he managed to slip the knot free. It feel and he opened his eyes. A flood of light entered his eyes and he screamed in pain, shutting them again. Slowly, he opened his eyelids again stage by stage- getting used to the brightness. Everything looked super-realistic... so much that he didn't seem real at all. Everything was too sharp, too harsh. He choked down as he tried to pull at the fabric binding his hands.

He needed something to cut it with.

Misaki edged to a dustbin, looking for something. He found it- and old open can. Pressing it against the bin, he began to work to cut the fabric. The problem was he couldn't see it, so it cut into his flesh as he undid his binds. But he didn't care, he just need his hands back- even if they were bloody.

He covered his face in his hands, shaking. He didn't know what to do now.

He could go to work... pretend nothing happened. Maybe everything would be normal if he just pretended. No, the way he was in now, they'd just ask questions. But he didn't want to return home... Usagi... he would be worried. He was make a fuss and he never wanted anyone to be sensitive to his feelings. Not even now.

What should he do...?


	2. Blanket of Cold

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Kyo Ijuuin, the writer of "The Kan" was currently seated in one of the many artist work rooms at the Marukawa Publishing Company- but he didn't really need to be there. He had finished his manuscript early (a miracle by Marukawa Publishing standard) and had delivered it just before it had started snowing again. As such, he was now waiting out the storm. Really, he had finished it as he wanted to meet Takahashi-kun again. And he didn't want to let go of the manuscript until he saw him.

He let out a sigh, brushing some of his layered black hair back, his dark eyes watching the white snow. "So... no sign of Takahashi-kun?"

"No... No sign of him." Eri Aikawa said quietly, watching her phone. "Reception said they'd phone as soon as he walked through the door. It's possible that he saw the weather forecast and didn't come in. But then he would have phoned. And I've tried calling his mobile but it seems he has it switched off."

"Takahashi-kun lives with that writer, right? Who don't you try phoning him?" Ijuuin said, not looking at Aikawa.

"You mean Usami-Sensei?" She dialed and placed the phone to her ear and waited as it rang. "Hey Usami-Sensei, can I speak to Misaki please?-

...-

No, he's not here right now.-

...-

How long ago?"

Ijuuin's eyes widened, listening intently to the half of conversation he could hear.

"He should have been here in three hours even if he had to walk."

Ijuuin pushed back his chair, causing it to fall as he rushed up, flinging open the door. He didn't stop as he heard Aikawa call after him. He didn't stop and others he passed yelled at him to ask him what was wrong. He didn't stop running.

He didn't bother with lifts as he knew they would be full, so he took the stairs. He jumped the last few steps and continued running as soon as he regained his balance. He rushed through the electric door and got out his keys, looking for his car. He ran all the way to his vehicle, ignoring every time he slipped in the snow. Once he was in his car he started the engine, moving off to find the lost boy.

* * *

Snow fell like stars, swirling to the ground with the grace of feathers. The flakes moved in the wind in some forgotten dance. Everything they touched they covered like a blanket from mother nature- a blanket of purity to cover a lost child- hiding him.

Masaki knew he should move, but he was so tired and he hurt too much. His hands were still bleeding, staining the pure white snow red. He still didn't know where he should go. He didn't want anyone to see him. He just wanted to vanish like melting snow.

* * *

Ijuuin couldn't shake the dreaded feeling he had. He needed to find Takahashi-kun as quickly as possible. If he had hit his head and fell unconscious in the snow he would die. He turned quickly in the car. There were only a few other cars on the road as most had been side park in the hash snow. He was sticking to the more pedestrian friendly roads, rather than the cleared main roads. The trains were offline so Takahashi-kun would have walked.

Ijuuin slowed down, seeing something on the sidewalk. He parked; no-one else was around. He got out and walked to the front of an alleyway. He could see something moving in a pile of snow and as he pushed his hand into the soft mound of white his fingers touched a cold, vibrating object. He pulled it out, it was a mobile phone.

It was a mobile phone with a Kan keychain attached.

Ijuuin stood, looking down the alleyway. There was a chance...

He started running, feet pounding on the crunching snow. His heart beat began to race, mind filling with ideas that he begged to any entity that were not true. His breath pillowed out in puffs like a steam train, his heart beating in the rhythm of wheels against a track. Faster and faster he ran until-

He stopped.

And he fell to his knees.

There was red in the white, white snow- like a rose on a crisp bed sheet. The red trailed to a small figure, unconscious against the wall. He couldn't tell if he was breathing.

"Takahashi... kun..." Ijuuin breathed. He crawled closer, placing his hand on the boy cheek

It was still warm.

There was still a ray of light in the storm.

The older man shook the boy, trying to wake him. "Takahashi-kun! You can't sleep or you will die! TAKAHASHI-KUN!"

"Hnnmm...?" Misaki moaned softly, his eyes opening a crack. Slowly they moved to look at the man over him. "Ijuuin... sensei? What... are you-...?"

"Takahashi-kun... where are you bleeding?" He whisper, making sure to keep the boy attention so he wouldn't fall back asleep.

Misaki lifted his hands gently, showing the cut wrists. "Cut my bounds... cut myself... accident..."

Ijuuin eye widened. The cuts didn't look too deep but they were still bleeding a fair amount. He need to bind them to stop it. He reached over and grabbed something, tying it round his wrists to stop the bleeding through pressure. As he watched the boy wince, Ijuuin realised what he was using as a bandage.

Strips of jean fabric.

Ijuuin looked down, and instantly knew what was truly wrong.

There was blood that hadn't come just from his wrists... and there was something white which wasn't snow.

Gritting his teeth, Ijuuin picked up Misaki, holding him tight in his arms. He knew- he knew all too well what had just happened. And he would not make the same mistakes again!

He ran faster than before, but careful to hold the broken boy close to him. But Misaki pushed against him, asked- no- begged to be left there. Ijuuin only gripped tighter.

Ijuuin lay Misaki in the passenger seat, putting his seat belt round him. He then slipped into the driver seat, starting the engine. As he did, he took up Misaki's mobile, which was ringing.

"I've found him-" he said, before letting the other person speak. "I'm taking him to the privet hospital. Meet me there."

And he hung up, speeding through the snow.


	3. Hospital

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Akihiko stood, froze. The phone slipped from his shaking hand and fell onto the floor. It felt like the world was swimming before him. So much that his hand to press his hand to the table, panting. His Misaki was being taken to hospital- by someone he didn't know. It sounded like that Ijuuin person... they guy Misaki adores because of the Manga he does.

Why was he taking his Misaki to hospital?

Akihiko grabbed his keys and his coat, running out the door with sudden speed.

* * *

Ijuuin waited outside Misaki's hospital room. They had told him that the boy was lucky to be alive... he was suffering from hyperthermia as well as shock. There was some internal bleeding in his rectum as it had torn- that's what had caused the minor shock. There were his wrists as well, which show early signs of infection. He was lucky he didn't get frostbite on his legs.

Since Misaki was pretty distressed- exclaiming that he didn't want any attention and he should be left back in the snow- the Doctors sedated him. They also gave him all the medication he needed and patched him up as best he could. Now was a waiting game to see if he would make it through the night. Would he battle to stay alive or would he give up and pass away?

Ijuuin rubbed his eyes, listening to the oxygen machine, the drip of IV and the beeping of the boys monitored heart rate. He took a sip from the coffee cup in his hand. He didn't want to fall asleep, he wanted to make sure Misaki would stay alive.

Of course he had taken Misaki to the best privet hospital in the area. He had paid for a whole team of Doctors to attend to him. It was the only thing he could do right now. Everything else was waiting.

Suddenly, the hospital doors bust open and someone came storming in, snow swirling after him. He marched the front desk and the nurse asking him question and headed straight for Ijuuin. Ijuuin stood, about to open his mouth.

But Usami grabbed him by the front of the shirt, slamming him against the wall. Coffee splashed everywhere as Usami's fist connected with Ijuuin's face. He was then pulled closer as Usami yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MISKAI!"

Ijuuin spat out a little blood- his lip at split. "I didn't do anything." He panted from the wind that was just knocked out of him. "Someone else did- I found him. Some monster had ra-"

Usami's eye widened, dropping Ijuuin and rushing into the room where Misaki lay.

"Misaki..." Usami said, taking the unconscious boy's hand. "Misaki!" He gript tighter. This scene was so frightening. His Misaki was hooked up to machines, a breather's mask over his face. He looked like he was dying. "Misaki!"

"Sir." Came a voice from behind Usami. "Are you a relative or a friend of Mr Takahashi?"

Usami turned and looked at the doctor. "I'm a really, really close friend."

The Doctor nodded. "I'm afraid Mr Takahashi was attacked. He was bound and left in the snow. He was there for a long time from what we know as he contracted hyperthermia and he contracted shock-"

"Because he was raped." Ijuuin said, finishing off the Doctor's sentence before he finished it. He came to stand next to Usami, looking over at Misaki. "I found him down an alleyway. He had actually cut his binds but had cut himself in the process- so he was bleeding badly. But he had also been torn inside." He looked at Usami. "But physical injuries are not the issue here."

Usami's shocked-wide eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Masaki wanted me to leave him in that alleyway even though he knew he would die if he stayed there."

Usami shook with anger, gently brushing Misaki's cold hand. "I will find whoever did this and make him pay..."

"No." Ijuuin rested his hand on his shoulder as the Doctor walked out of the room to give them some space. "Right now he needs you to be with him, not to go running off after someone we don't know anything about yet."

Usami shrugged his shoulder out of Ijuuin's grasp and sat on the seat closet to Misaki's bedside, never letting out of his hand. Ijuuin stood, watching them.

There was a long silence where the only sounds where the beeps of the machines telling them that Misaki was okay. Or at least physically-

"My older brother was raped."

Usami's eyes widened and he slowly turned to look at Ijuuin. "W-what?"

"My older brother was raped and I saw it happened." Ijuuin said, looking at Usami with a deep sadness. "He killed himself in the end. He just broke down and suicide." He turned his head and looked at Misaki's slowly breathing form. "And he might try to do the same."

Usami squeezed Misaki's hand tighter. "He won't... I know he won't!" he kissed Misaki's hand gently. "I won't let him..."

Ijuuin patted Usami on the shoulder, walking out of the room to leave the two alone.


	4. Misaki wakes

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Although Usagi-san didn't like it, they kept Misaki sedated over the next few days. They said this was so he would stay in a stable condition and give himself time to heal without hurting himself more. They could also keep control over his medication this way- because he might try and refuse it if he was awake. Usagi-san had told them this as he had once tried to give Misaki lots of fever medication and the teen had refused.

He felt so useless, just sitting next to Misaki every night and day. Visiting hours meant nothing to him and they had even brought in blankets for him just encase he needed sleep. He hadn't slept much though. He had also donated his blood to Misaki as the Doctors had found out they were the same blood type. The fresher the blood was the better it was. And Usagi liked the idea of a part of him inside Misaki... like he was actually helping that way.

Ijuuin came in and out, often fetching food for Usagi. He had also gone into Usagi's flat- with his permission- and brought the teddy bear know as "Suzuki-san". It now sat in one of the other chairs near the bed. Flowers and cards had started to appear from the people at the Publishing Company. Ijuuin had only told them that Misaki was attacked- leaving out the rape part. This way they knew he wouldn't be coming back to work for a while.

Ijuuin stood by the doorway. The Doctors had just check Misaki over and he seemed to be fine. They gave him some more medication and said they'll keep him sedated for a day or two more. It's what they always said. Ijuuin let out a sigh. "When are you going to tell his brother?"

"Huh?" Usagi said, not looking at Ijuuin as he came over and sat down next to him.

"He has a brother, right?" Ijuuin said. "You're going to have to tell him his little brother was raped. He deserves to know."

Usagi looked down. He didn't want to tell Takahiro, because he'd take Misaki away from him. But Ijuuin was right; he was going to have to tell him at some stage.

Ijuuin rested his hand on Usagi shoulder. "Do you want me to tell him...?"

Usagi shook his head. "No, I need to do it."

Ijuuin smiled sadly, sliding his hand up and brush Usagi's hair slightly. "You love Misaki, don't you?"

Usagi didn't need to say anything- Ijuuin had already figured it out a while ago. Usagi just stood, taking up the phone. This was going to be hard but if he didn't do it straight away he was going to back out. So he dialled. However, there was no answer. Takahiro was out at work- so Usagi left a message explaining not just about Misaki's attack, but his rape and his condition in hospital.

"Usagi-san..." Ijuuin said. He had been calling Usami by his neck name for two days now. "Are you alright?"

Usagi covered his face with his hand and shook his head. Ijuuin got up and pulled Usagi into his arms. "It will be alright." He whispered. "Misaki will be awake soon as he's healthy enough."

Usagi removed his hand. He wasn't crying- he would only let Misaki see him cry. But he wished he could right now. He wished his Misaki was awake to hold onto him in the way he did. He wished he could kiss and touch him. He wished he could listen to him complain and struggle. He wanted to make love to him and hear those soft pants and moans and weak cries of his name. He wished he could see Misaki's face make that cute expression it did when he teased his body in the way he knew he likes.

But how could he ever do anything when Misaki looked like a broke china doll...?

* * *

Takahiro said nothing as he walked into the hospital. He walked past reception and headed straight for the room Usagi had told him on that message that his little brother was in. He open the door sharply, his fist pressed against the door frame. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his little brother- his little Misaki who he promised to protect- looking so broken and so weak. He gritted his teeth, tears of anger and tears of fear running down his face.

"Takahiro..."

Takahiro walked past Usagi, not looking at him. He knelt down, taking Misaki's hand. "Misaki... it's alright..." he stroked his little brother's hair gently, biting his lip as he watched him breathe through the oxygen mask. "Everything is f-fine." More tears slid down his face. "I know I've b-been so busy l-lately and was h-haven't seen each other much. B-but I'll make it up to you!" He griped Misaki's limp hand tighter. "I-I will n-n-not loose you!"

"Takahiro..." Usagi whispered again, he placed his hand gently on his best friend's shoulder. He reeled away in shock as a split second later Takahiro smacked him away.

Takahiro stood, placing Misaki's hand back on the bed. "You... you promise me nothing b-bad would happen..." he shook with anger.

"T-Takahiro." Usagi shuttered. "I-I..."

"YOU PROMISED!"

* * *

He felt warm, as if engulfed by a cloud. His head felt so foggy and he didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to dript back to sleep. He wanted to keep this warm feeling.

"YOU PROMISED!"

Misaki's hearing suddenly returned, listening. That... sounded like his brother.

"Once he's well enough, I'm taking him home with me! Where he'll be safe!"

No... He didn't want to go with his brother; he wanted to stay with Usagi-san. Why was his brother suddenly saying this? What had happened? Maybe if he got up and went into the living room he could find out.

"Takahiro- listen to me-"

"No! If you had been more careful he wouldn't have been attack and r-raped and left to die!"

Misaki's eyes flew open as memory suddenly returned. He pulled of the mask attached to his face and dry-heaved over the side of the bed.

"Misaki!" both yelled, rushing to him. They pulled his back onto the bed, a bucket placed under him and he up-chucked spit mixed with bile. He shook heavily, gasping, hyperventilating. The machine monitoring his heart showed that its beating skyrocketed as the beeps came loud and fast.

Someone yelled for a doctor, and doctors came. The pinned took his arm and injected something into it. His heart rated calmed- he calmed. He stayed sat up, staring at his hands. He felt numb. He listened to the doctor speaking.

"You have to be careful. Why his body is healing I'd advise not shouting at the top of your lungs about what happened to him."

Misaki blinked slowly. That's right... he was attacked and forced upon... and... now... they've probably injected him with something to keep him calm. Yeah... that's probably right...

Something large and soft was placed into his open arms. He held it close, pulling it to him and resting his chin on it. "Hello Suzuki-san..." he breathed in the scent of the bear. It smelt like Usagi-san.

"Misaki, how do you feel?" Takahiro's face came into view as he spoke.

"Mmm... like I'm drunk..." Misaki mumbled through the bear's fur.

Takahiro smiled gently in a parenting way. "That's because the Doctor gave you something to make you feel that way so you won't do any more damage to yourself..."

Misaki looked closer at him. "You've been crying. "

The older sibling sat on the younger's hospital bed, careful to avoid sitting on his knees. "Yes, I have." He brushed Misaki's hair more.

"You were yelling to..." Misaki said, pressing his face more to the bear. "Don't like it."

Takahiro's eyes widened as he watched his little brother. Had his outburst just caused him to have a panic attack? He was going to have to be so careful. "I'm sorry Misaki. I won't do it again."

"Want Usagi-san."

Takahiro blinked and turned to look at the grey-haired man behind him. Usagi moved forwards, kneeling by Misaki. "I'm here, Misaki."

"Nee-chan yells when he's scared." Misaki mumbled, looking at Usagi. "He doesn't mean it."

Usagi and Takahiro looked at each other. Even right now all Misaki could think about was others feelings. They pulled the small boy into a group hug, embracing him until he fell asleep again.

* * *

If your intrested, I did a comic page based on one of the bits in this chapater: ht tp :/ kyu ubi-fo x-demon .devi antart. com / art/ JJRFic- Unf air-p1 -169 835 0 01 :just remove the spaces.


	5. He made me smell like him

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

A few days later and the Doctors had said Misaki could go home- at least for a while anyway. If he got any worse or showed sign on any infections he'd came to come straight back. They had given his two caretakers the medicine he would need for the next month.

Misaki was also still on strong calming medication, having been given his last strong injected dose just before getting ready to leave the hospital. He would now be on very mild tablets that would be reduced until not needed. He also had a few spare injections just encase of a serious emergency.

He was dressed in some clothes Usagi had brought for him- just jeans and t-shirt as well as a warm coat. It felt weird to him because he had gotten used to wearing a hospital gown. He held Suzuki-san tight to him as he slowly walked down the steps at the front of the hospital. Usagi-san and Takahiro were either side of him ready to catch him if he tripped. Usagi had offered to carry him out but he wanted to walk for once.

Misaki held Suzuki-san tighter, just standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the snow. It seemed so white...

"Misaki." Takahiro said, kneeling down in front of his little brother- speaking in a softened voice. "Who's car would you like to go in? Ijuuin-san's car is full of those flowers the nice people at Marukawa sent you, so you can't go in his. So would you like to go in mine or-?"

"Usagi-san's." Misaki said, eyes covered with a drug induced glaze. "I want to go in Usagi-san's car."

Takahiro's smile faltered slightly. That was the second time he had wanted to go with Usagi rather than him. He had offered they go to his house but Misaki had insisted on going to Usagi's... at least for a while. But Usagi said he could stay nights at his apartment, so that was fine. He wouldn't be able to be there all the time, but at least he had more contact then if he just stayed at his own place. Usagi-san had also offered to let his wife and son stay too.

Usagi helped Misaki into his sports car, and slips inside himself. Takahiro waved them off and went to his own car. Usagi drove slowly; he didn't want to scare Misaki. This was the first time he had been alone with an awake Misaki since he had been attacked. He didn't know what to say or do- Misaki was also on drugs too, which seemed to make what he had to say more unpredictable. He seemed to be speaking his mind more.

Then maybe...

"Misaki." Usagi said softly, but loud enough for the boy to hear. "I love you."

"I love you too, Usagi-san." Misaki said quietly, almost mumbling.

Usagi-san took a side glance at him. He had that glazed expression on his face. It made Usagi's heart hurt a little. He hoped that it was only the medicine that was causing it, and not that he was broken inside. Usagi-san badly wanted to hold him tight, to tell him everything okay.

"Usagi-san... Suzuki-san smells like you..." Misaki mumbled. "I like it..."

He looked sideways at Misaki again, a little surprised. "Do you really?"

Misaki nodded. "I've always liked you scent... so comforting." Little tears started to leak from Misaki's watering eyes. "I... I... s-smelt... l-like h-him... I..."

Usagi turned the care suddenly, turning into a car park. There were lots of cars so he parked at the back out of sight. He undid his seatbelt and turned to Misaki, cupping his cheek, kissing his lips gently. He poured his loneliness and worries and love into that one kiss. Misaki kissed back, sliding his hands to touch Usagi's shoulders. He closed his eyes slowly, seeking comfit in the kiss.

He felt a hand slide up his front.

He screamed, pushing back, covering his head. He screamed more, the medicine's effects crumbling in the sudden surge of panic and fear and memories. He let out a heart breaking sob, curling.

"MISAKI!"

A hand brushed his hair gently, trying to sooth the terrified creature that he had suddenly become. Those big, cold hands soothed him in a way no one else could. He opened his eyes slowly, looking up at Usagi-san's face. Usagi-san's tear stained face.

"Usagi-s-san." Misaki said, trembling. "I-I-" his sniffed, more tears falling thick and fast. "It h-hurt so much... it hurt... h-he..." he sobbed, covering his face. "He w-wasn't you. I p-promised I-I'd never let anyone other than you e-enter me... a-and he did. I b-broke my promise!"

Usagi wrapped his arms around Misaki, holding him close. "Misaki. I love you." He whispered firmly, holding his lover tighter. "And nothing will ever change that."

Misaki closed his eyes, "I love you too... Usagi...san..." he felt Usagi's body temperature engulf him, wooing him into a deep, deep sleep.

* * *

NOTE:

If you have any suggestions of what you think should happen, feel free to message me. I'm acturly making this up as I go along but I do have a few main points planned. But if you think you've come up with a good idea then tell me and I'll see if it will suit ^^ I'll try and credit you too. But don't feel upset if I change my mind even though I said I'll use your idea, I do that a lot.


	6. Like hellfire

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Snow fell from the sky as he laid back- and as it touched him it became red snow like crystals of blood. He could feel it melting and pouring down him, staining him. He pressed his back more to the wall, watching the endless alleyway and the endless sky. He felt so small... so alone.

He was too tired to cry- he just wanted to sleep. Sleep forever and never have to worry or be hurt again. But most of all he didn't want to be here, down this alleyway, in this blanket that was more blood than snow.

Just as he began to sleep, to let go, he felt it. Something sliding up him. He looked a saw a hand of white coming out of the snow. It tugged at his clothes before ripped it off, more hands coming to remove this clothing. They began to stroke, pinch, hit, molest and force their way inside. He let out a sob, trying to force fingers out of his mouth but it just seemed to encourage.

The hands were so hot they felt like they were burning him.

Then, out of the snow came the rest of him. A torso and head made of white snow. A head with no eyes and only a smile. A smile that dribbled. It leaned over and kissed him, suffocating him in boiling hotness that burnt him. He tried to scream but it had his voice trapped.

It smirked. "Misaki... Misaki..." it stroked him with its many hands. "You're enjoying it so much... Misaki..."

"N-no!"

"Then why did you moan so much?" it stroked him. "Misaki... I will come back for you. My little Misaki"

And it pushed inside of him.

He screamed.

* * *

He screamed and screamed, clutching at his hair. He wanted it to stop, the pain to stop. He wanted it to end. He was screaming so much it felt like his throat was going to burst. He trashed, becoming tangled.

"MISAKI!"

He stopped, frozen. Big, cold hands stoked him, brushing his hair and face. They cooled him, pushing back the heat of those other hands. Lips kissed him gently, silent asking- begging for him to be okay.

Misaki griped onto his shirt, the kiss slowly breaking. He let out a sob, burying his face into the crook of Usagi's arm as he cold hands soothed him.

"Misaki... are you okay...?" Usagi whispered gently, holding him close.

"Please-" He gripped onto the older man. He didn't know what he was asking, what he wanted. He wanted Usagi to know for him. He wanted him to take care of him.

"Misaki." Usagi said, pressing his face to the top of his head. "You're with me now, he c-can't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you ever again."

"He was so... warm..." Misaki mumbled, tired. "It felt like he was burning me..."

Usagi didn't say anything to this; he just pressed his hands to Misaki's face. His cold, cold hands. Misaki relaxed, leaning into his touch. Usagi kissed his gently, ready to pull back if Misaki didn't want to. But the younger just pressed more, wanting more.

And eternity seemed to pass as they just kissed, holding onto each other. But that eternity was too quick.

The doorbell rang

Usagi whisper to Misaki. "That will be Takahiro... he went to get his wife and son while you were asleep. They'll be here for a few days. Don't worry though, you can go back to sleep..."

Misaki shook his head. "I d-d-don't want to sleep..."

Usagi smiled a little. "Want to come downstairs for a while."

The younger nodded, Usagi-san helping him up. Misaki picked up Suzuki-san, holding him close. He knew he was too old of teddy bears, but right he just needed something soft to hold. Something that felt like it was protecting him. Something like Usagi-san.

Usagi helped him down the steps, guiding him to sit on the sofa. He then went to the door to open it. "Morning Takahiro. Misaki's awake."

Takahiro gave a hopeful smile, stepping in a carrying a number of bags with him. They were probably filled more with toys for Takahiro's son, Mahiro, than clothes for he and his wife Kajiwara. Usagi took bags from the woman who stole the man he loved so deeply as she walked to sit herself and the child that Usagi-san hated- for it represented that loss in his life-down on the sofa. He lifted them as he carried them up the stairs, guiding Takahiro with him. He needed to talk to him.

Misaki sat on the sofa, still holding Suzuki-san. He was staring into middle distance, letting his mind relax. But images of that nightmare kept flashing into his mind. He held the bear tighter to his face, trying to repress those images.

"Hello Misaki Ototo-san..." Came a soft, motherly voice. "How are you feeling?"

Misaki looked up from the fur fabric pressed to his face. "Ah, Kajiwara nee-chan... I didn't hear you come in." Misaki smiled at her.

She sighed, her shoulders sagging a little. She knew the smile was fake, but she didn't want to say anything. Takahiro had told her a long time ago that he didn't like people being sensitive to his feelings- because he believed that indirectly killed their parents. And both she and husband feared that mentality would increase with everyone around him so focus on what had happened to him.

"Would you like some tea, Misaki?" Kajiwara asked, smiling. He hadn't answered her first question asking how he was. But she didn't want to press the matter.

"Yeah, but I'll do it. You've got your hands full with little Mahiro." Misaki said, indicating to his little nephew who was sucking on his hand, using the other to wave a small soft toy of a duck.

Before Kajiwara could insist on doing it, Masaki stood. He hesitated before putting Suzuki-san down. He was sure he could at least go to the kitchen without the scent of Usagi-san in his nose. And if he hugged the bear too much it would smell like him and not of Usagi-san.

He took out the small tub they kept the tea in as soon as he reached the kitchen cupboards. He filled the kettle to boil as he watched his sister-in-law play with his nephew. She kept looking at him, but he expected it. Everyone was staring at him now.

Reaching into the cupboard, Misaki took out two cups. He shook slightly, making them rattle against the other ceramics as he took them out and placed them upon the counter. He spooned tea leaves into each and put the tea leaves away. These were such simple tasks but it was taking Misaki every bit of energy he had to do them.

The kettle whistled, indicating that was water inside was up to temperature. He turned the gas off and poured water into the cups, holding the kettle with a towel so as not to burn himself.

Burn...

Hot...

He placed the kettle on the stove, dropping the towel. He looked at his hand- it was red from the heat. He pressed it gently to his neck, closing his eyes. It burned.

"Misaki? Are you alright?"

Misaki opened his eyes. Kajiwara was looking at him, concerned. Concerned about his feelings. He didn't want that. He didn't want it.

"Coming!" Misaki said. He picked up the two cups, moving out from the kitchen area.

His hands, they were hot. And as he held the cups tighter it felt like someone was holding his hands. Those hands were burning him. Burning him like hellfire. His eyes widened as the space between him and the living room seemed to lengthen to a long, dark alleyway. Everything grew white like snow. Everything grew cold except for the hot, hot hands.

And as someone screamed his name the floor rushed up to meet him like he was falling snow.

* * *

NOTE:

Shout out to Miyuku-tan, who is getting her wish of Misaki collapsing. And then of course to Miyayu, whos been helping me orgnaize my ideas and telling me what she thinks of them. THANKS!


	7. Enter Egoist

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Usagi-san placed the bags he was holding in the largest spare room he had in this mansion of an apartment. He had ordered a large double bed and a crib this morning and they had arrived before Misaki woke up. The model of the Great Wall of China that had been in this room beforehand was how shoved into a closet in one of the other rooms.

This room was right next to Misaki's, but the boy himself had been sleeping in Usagi room. Originally he was going to put him in his own room but he wouldn't let out of his shirt. So Usagi had put Misaki in his room and had stayed with him. In fact, it had only been ten minutes or so that he had been gone when Misaki woke up screaming.

"How long will you be staying?" Usagi said quietly.

"Just under a week." Takahiro said, unpacking his family's things. "I have a business trip and Kajiwara will only stay here after that if it feels right. If Misaki wants a little space in that time she'll return home until I come back. So we're playing it by ear."

Usagi nodded. This meant that he would have Misaki to himself after a while. For now he would just have to be careful on how he comforted Misaki in front of Takahiro. He had talked to Misaki about telling Takahiro that they were lovers and they would tell him eventually... but... if Takahiro reacted badly right now it could make matters much worse.

Much, much worse...

Usagi-san pressed his hand to his head. All he could think about was what Ijuuin had told him. The Manka said that his older brother was raped by his best friend. They had trusted the man and he ended up violently raping Ijuuin's older brother, Mitsu Ijuuin. Mitsu, after weeks of mental breakdowns, nightmares and lack of eating- he suicide.

Ijuuin told him that he had to watch Misaki very, very carefully without making him feel smothered. Since if he gets smothered he might try and act fine to get people to stop when really he's getting much worse. Ijuuin had talked to Takahiro about Misaki's childhood in a effort to help and he had then told Usagi that there's a chance that if Misaki gets too smothered he could feel cut off because he feels as if he has to pretend he's fine.

"You know... Misaki will have to come with us eventually. He needs his family." Takahiro said. He was holding a photo album.

Usagi-san said nothing at first, fists clenched a little. He didn't want to let go of Misaki. He wouldn't. "Don't you think that's up to Misaki?"

Takahiro was about to reply when they heard someone scream. Someone scream Misaki's name. Both dropped whatever they were holding and rushed out. They stood at the top of the stairs to take in the scene.

Misaki was on the floor, smashed bits of ceramic around him as well as liquid. He was panting heavily as Kajiwara was shaking him, checking for any head wounds. Usagi presses his hand to the rail and jumped over, landing before pushing himself forwards to slide down next to Misaki.

"Misaki!" Usagi said, shaking him. "Misaki!" he looked at Takahiro, who came rushing down the stairs. "The medicine is the cooler in the bathroom. Get his calming shots!" he then turned to Kajiwara. "Call the Doctors!"

As the two rushed off to do their designated jobs, Usagi just pulled Misaki to him and whispered to him their secrete love, comforting his true love.

* * *

Nowaki Kusama blinked at the box in his hand.

"If you don't want to eat it, you don't have to!" Hiroki Kamijo said, crossing his arms. He was embarrassed- and when he got embarrassed he got temperamental.

But Nowaki just smiled. He smiled to keep back tears of happiness he felt. "Hiro-san... of course I will eat this for lunch. You made it and put so much effort into making it. You even came here to where I work to deliver it. Why wouldn't I eat it?"

Hiroki pouted in the way Nowaki couldn't resist. Still holding the box lunch he puts his arms round Hiroki from behind. Hiroki lent back against him, blushes gently. Nowaki knew he liked being held like this the best.

"Kusama!" One of the other doctors shouted, running out the hospital to him.

Nowaki let go of Hiroki and turned to his colleague. "What is it?"

The man stopped before him. "That patent- Takahashi- he's seriously fainted and their worried he might have a fit. You need to take some medical supplies to him."

"Where's his assigned Doctor?" Nowaki asked, taking a box from the co-worker.

"Most of them have their hands full already. One of them isn't here and we don't know where he is." The co-worker said, handing Nowaki a small oxygen tank. "Now get moving! The guy was a serious victim of a horrible attack and rape. His body hasn't healed yet and he had mental scaring which systems seem to exhibit themselves physically."

Nowaki nodded, turning sharply, handing a piece of paper to Hiroki. "Come with me. I need you to give me fast directions as I drive."

Hiroki nodded, rushing after Nowaki as he ran over to a paramedic car, slipping in and doing his belt. As soon as Hiroki did the same, Nowaki revved off, turning on the siren and lights on.

Cars dived out of their way as they speeded through the still snowy streets. Hiroki clutched onto the dash board for dear life as he read out instructions. But he realised he didn't need to- he knew where they were going. He knew very well, as he used to be there all the time before he met Nowaki and he still goes there to collect his borrowed books.

It was Akihito's place.

Wait- Takahashi...

"Nowaki." Hiroki said, getting his lover's attention. "What's this Takahashi's first name?"

"Misaki."

Hiroki's eyes widened. Misaki Takahashi was a student of his a year ago- and why was he at Akihito's? Was Misaki the tenant that Akihito complained stopped talking to him for weeks now and again? Wait... Takahashi... c-could it be that Misaki was the brother of Takahiro Takahashi? The one whom Akihito only had eyes for? The one that was totally blind to it all?

Hiroki swallowed hard. "AND MAKE A LEFT!"

* * *

NOTE:

To be honst, I don't know that much about Egoist. I've seen the eps once but I love Romantica so much I tend to ignore Egoist and Terrorist. But I thought this would be a good tie in.


	8. Talking

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Hiroki was out of the car before Nowaki had even finished parking. He grabbed oxygen tank and left the box of other medical supplies to Nowaki.

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki shouted as he jumped out of the medical vehicle, chasing after him.

Hiroki didn't stop. Rather than ringing the bell he entered in the pass code he had used a few weeks ago and the door opened. He pulled Nowaki inside before shutting the door. They then dashed for the elevator. He pressed for Akihito's floor.

Nowaki panted, holding the box. He turned to the older man. "H-how did you know how to get in?"

Hiroki was about to reply when the elevator doors opened. They dashed out, Hiroki leading the way. He flung the door open and moved to the side, allow Nowaki to come in, his Doctor's coat telling the room's occupants all they needed to know.

Usagi-san rested Masaki reluctantly down as Nowaki came closer, getting out medical supplies. He took Masaki's pulse, mumbling that it was far too high. Takahiro came over, passing Nowaki the box of medicine from the cooler. He took it a placed it next to him, tilting Misaki's head back to check his airway before putting the mask on, making sure he wouldn't bite his tongue. He turned on the oxygen.

"Misaki, Misaki, can you hear me?" Nowaki slapped his cheek lightly. "Misaki, you need to wake up!"

There was no response. Usagi-san leaned forwards. "Misaki, please, wake up. Just wake up." He brushed Misaki's hair gently. "I need you to wake u-up."

Hiroki watched as Akihiro soothed Misaki, trying to wake him up. His student and his childhood sweetheart... Hiroki understood. Akihiro couldn't have Takahiro, so he had the younger brother instead. He gave a sideways glance to Takahiro... who had a woman with him and child. Yeah... he really had been completely blind to Akihiro's feelings. And he was sure that this ignorant fool was blind to Akihiro's and Misaki's relationship even though it was clearly on display here. He watched as they all tried to wake Masaki up, the room filling with begs and pleases to wake him.

But there was still no response from the boy, so Hiroki took in a deep, deep breath before yelling. "TAKAHASHI MISAKI! IF YOU FALL ASLEEP ONCE MORE IN MY CLASS I WILL FAIL YOU! NOT TO MENTION THAT MY BOOT WILL CONNECT WITH YOUR HEAD!"

Suddenly, Misaki opened his eyes, trying to sit up. He fell back into Usagi's arms, panting heavily, his mind reeling. He was so confused, he wasn't in the class room... he was home... then his mind caught up and his eyes widened. He shook, tilting his head back.

Nowaki recognised the signs of an oncoming fit due to his years of medical training. He took out a small glass bottle and stabbed a syringe in it, drawing out the special liquid. He squirted out any air bubbled before leaning over the boy. "Misaki, I'm going to give you a little shot. It will help you calm." He then pushed the needle deep inside a vain, injecting. He then withdrew the needle, covering over the pinprick with a Band-Aid.

Misaki seemed to relax, sinking into Usagi's arm, still clinging onto his shirt. He breathed slowly and deeply and Nowaki confirmed that his heart rate had gone down to normal.

"If this happens again we might need to take him back to the hospital." Nowaki said slowly, he knew these people wouldn't like it. "And take him to the mental health section."

Silence fell in the room.

* * *

Misaki had been put to bed by Usagi and Nowaki as they needed to set is room up as a temporary hospital. Nowaki would stay for a few more hours until he was off duty then just be a page away. As such, they all sat in the living room. Manami had gone to make tea so that left Hiroki and Takahiro together.

"So... You're Takahiro..."

Takahiro blinked, looking at Hiroki. That didn't sound like an question, but he answered anyway. "Yeah, I'm Misaki's brother and Usagi-san's friend. So how do you know Misaki? Were you his teacher?"

Hiroki nodded. "Yeah, I was his Literature lecturer at University. He fell asleep in my class once or twice so I know how to wake him. But I was also Akihito's childhood friend. We met when we were 10."

Takahiro blinked. "I never thought of Usagi-san having any other friends..." it was true, he hadn't. Usagi-san was anyways a solitary person.

"We actually met once or twice, but only in passing." Hiroki said, he then looked at the small child in the man's lap. "I see you've married and had a child since then."

"Yup! Little Mahiro!" Takahiro said, holding up the child, showing evidence of how foolish and blind he was. "And Usagi-san's the godfather!"

It felt like Hiroki's heart cracked. How could this man be so cruel? Asking someone who he broke the heart of, to then name the child? He wanted to punch him. But he smiled instead. "How cute! Akihito was always very good at names."

Takahiro just grinned. "Have you got a special little girl yourself? Or are you still looking?"

Hiroki stayed quiet for the moment, and then spoke. "I have someone, yes."

He smiled. "Oh, ho, ho! Well, I hope you and she have a wonderful future! If you have a child you can always talk to me about some fatherly tips." He stroked Mahiro's hair a little. "After all... I had over 10 years experience raising Misaki."

Hiroki blinked. "Where... are your parents?"

Takahiro looked down, still stroking his son's hair. "They... died in a car crash when Misaki was 8. They speeded in the rain and just crashed and died. Misaki always blamed himself as he had a fever at the time and he had asked them to hurry home. He believes that if he hadn't asked them to be quick they wouldn't have gone too fast." He pressed his face to his son's head, eyes suddenly full of sadness. "And now this..."

Hiroki stayed quiet for a moment, turning to look at the ceiling. "He'll bounce back in time. He's got amazing resilience. He always showed that in his work. He never stopped trying."

"You really think so?"

Hiroki looked sideways at him. "Yes. But he can only do it- not you."

Takahiro was about to ask what he meant when Manami walked over, carrying a tray of tea. She placed cups down and sat next to her husband. "I hope he's going to be okay..."

Hiroki rested back. "He will be. You just have to be patient."

* * *

NOTE:

Sorry for the short update that took a while. I've been so busy and tired recently.


	9. Hired the Best

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

It had been a few days and Misaki seemed to be much better. He was able to do small things without any worry. But the nightmares were raging. And getting much worse.

Unless he had Usagi-san next to him.

Takahiro had left on his business trip for a week or so, and Manami decided she would move back into their own home to give Misaki and break from all the attention. He really needed it.

Misaki moved closer to Usagi, bathing in his wonderfully cold body temperature. He felt so comforted and so safe. He leaned into the older man's touch as he stroked his face. "Usagi... san..."

"Misaki..." Usagi whispered, before kissing him gently on the lips. He loved this boy so much and never wanted to let him go. He would never let anyone hurt him again. "I love you Misaki."

Misaki blushed, pressing his face more against Usagi's chest. If the past week had taught him anything, it was that things could change and be stolen away so easily. He gripped Usagi's open shirt. "L-Love you too..."

Usagi smiled gently, sliding his fingers into Misaki's hair. He wanted to touch Misaki so badly, to make him his again- to mark him. But Misaki was so fragile right now and he didn't want him to crack anymore than he already was. So instead, he kissed him again with the softness of rose petals.

Misaki gave a needing moan, slipping more inside his shirt. He felt so safe there. Those hot hands could not touch him when he was near Usagi-san. He slid his hands up Usagi-san back under shirt, pulling himself as close as he could get. "Usagi... m-make love to me..."

Usagi's eyes widened slightly. Misaki had never said anything so direct before. He wanted to, he wanted to do everything to Misaki. But... all he could think about was that fragile thing in hospital and how he screamed on the car journey home. "Misaki... you're not strong enough."

Misaki just gripped the elder's shirt tighter. "I don't care!"

"I do!" Usagi said fiercely. He then looked away. "I... don't want to hurt you anymore than you are already."

Misaki's eyes filled with sadness. "I'm... not a broken doll..."

At that, Usagi suddenly cupped Misaki's cheek and kissed him deeply, pulling him more onto him. He began to pull down Misaki's jeans and underwear, only to find that Misaki was doing the same to him.

It filled him with a strange feeling... as the old Misaki wouldn't have done something like that no matter how much Usagi asked. Misaki was far too resistant and nervous to make an advance and follow it through. Had the one he loved really changed that much? And shouldn't he be happy Misaki was doing this?

Usagi took Misaki's hand and pulled him away from the task of stripping him. He took his cock out himself and presses it against Misaki's. He took them in his huge hands and began to rub. Misaki gripped onto him, moaning softly.

Usagi kept this up until they had climaxed, pulling his hand back and licking it. Misaki had fallen asleep without him entering the boy. He smiled sadly. It would really be a while before they had full on sex again... but who was it because.

Was it Misaki's weakened state or his insecurity?

* * *

Ijuuin stood in the alleyway, holding a photograph. He had found it. He wanted to burn it but he knew it was important evidence. It made his blood boil and his hand shake.

"Is this where it happened?"

Ijuuin looked up at the man in a large coat and hat and nodded to him. He handed over the photo to the man. "Here..."

The man took it, his eyes narrowing. "This is the photo of the victim, am I right?"

"Yes, Misaki Takahashi." Ijuuin said. "I found that photo in the snow."

"We're dealing with a very, very cleaver one... that's not ashamed of what he's done at all." The man said quietly. "Though this photo shows a lot it doesn't show us anything of him at all. Very cleaver" the man turned the photo over. "It obviously came from a compact self printing camera and was left accidently." He turned it back over. "My bet is he doesn't like himself, or his appearance in some way. That's why he's taken extra care not to have himself in the photo."

Ijuuin smiled. "They weren't kidding when they said you were good."

"Well-" The man smiled, pushing up the rim of his hat. "You did hire the best."

* * *

NOTE:

Sorry for the shortness again. The next bit is important so it deserves its own chapater


	10. A real Misaki

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Hiroki blinked, staring at the woman in front of him.

"Is he gay?"

"Umm... why do you ask?"

"Just tell me."

"Why should I tell you?"

"Stop evading the question and tell me."

"I'm not evading the question."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Please..." Manami said, holding her son closer to her. "I need to know. I promise I won't tell anyone."

Hiroki let out a huge sigh, giving in. "Alright, he is, indeed, gay. Very, very gay. Aggressive gay rather than camp gay; but gay none-the-less."

Manami stroked Mahiro's hair as he sucked on his thumb. "You know... when I first saw Usagi-san... I thought that he might be. And the way he looked when Takahiro announced that we were getting married... it looked like his world had just come crashing down around him." She pressed her face to her son's head. "I felt so guilty..."

"I can only imagine... and I do want to actually." Hiroki smiled sadly. "Women have a very good ability of sensing gay men."

Manami stayed quiet for a moment, and then spoke. "Did you... love Usagi-san?"

"For most of my life." Hiroki lent back in his office chair. "But he never really noticed once he met Takahiro. I... became a voluntarily replacement..."

She wasn't sure if she should ask what that meant, but before she decided he told her anyway.

"I slept with Usagi a few times... and those times he wore a blink fold and pretended I was Takahiro." As an expression of horror formed on Manami's face, Hiroki quickly added. "It was my idea!" he rubbed his neck. "The worse idea I've ever had. I just felt so guilty... I used one of Akihito's weaknesses against him."

Manami reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay... we all make mistakes. Don't blame yourself." She brushed his hair a little. "I'm sure he loved you... just loved Takahiro more..."

Hiroki smiled sadly again. "You're probably right. And I have Nowaki now. So I'm happy."

Manami then placed her hand back on her son's head. "Is... he with Misaki?"

Hiroki nodded. "I don't know for sure, but I would say yes. Akihito would never let anyone live with him unless he didn't have some sort of very strong connection to him. And the way he held the boy... he never did that to me like that. He obviously loved Misaki lots and lots." He smiled. "So... don't feel bad you married Takahiro- because you may have helped Akihito find true love."

"Misaki... never seemed gay to me."

"He probably wasn't." Hiroki said quietly. "Knowing Akihito as well as I do I wouldn't be surprised if some sort of molestation went on." His eyes widened, realising what he just said. "Ah! No! Akihito is NOT a bad person! Well... umm... most of the time. But he would never truly hurt anyone!"

Manami seemed to relax. "And... I guess if Misaki didn't want it then he wouldn't stay with Usagi-san and defend him as he does."

"Yeah, you're right." Hiroki looked out the window. "I wonder what the Usami's think of Misaki. They would probably know everything."

"Would Usagi tell them?"

"No, they have a nasty habit of finding things out themselves." He smiled to himself. "Not only is Akihito's brother frightening in a kind of monotone way... their father has a way with words and a way of twisting people's minds." He watched as the cherry blossoms floated past the window. "If Misaki has been with Usagi-san as long as I taught him then he would have come across some Usami test- and passed."

Manami couldn't help but smile a little at that. Misaki was a lot stronger than Takahiro took him for- his speeding recovery was sign of that. Although he seemed bad, most rape victims were much worse off. "He'll make a full recovery..."

"Of course he will." Hiroki said, agreeing. "Just will take a while."

"So..." She smiled. "Tell me more about yourself, Nowaki and what Usagi-san was like when he was younger. I'd love to know!"

"Alright." Hiroki said, putting another batch of coffee on.

* * *

He let out a sigh, letting his clothes fall to the floor. It had been another hard day without any reward. He wished he didn't have to work; but working paid for what he liked. So he had to work.

He slipped slowly into the bath, letting his joints click and his muscles relaxing. Now was the time when he felt truly himself. And he was truly happy- a new copy of Junia Romantica just came out. It even had a warning on it, saying that it contained rape. He grinned. Rape in his favourite BL novel just added a whole new loved for the thing.

Critiques on the back said it was a dark turn but a good one and very well written and deserved an award.

He licked his lips and kissed the front over, right over the character Misaki Suzuki. Oh how he loved that character. He wanted him to be real... wanted him to be his little pet. And he wanted to be the character Akihito... He wanted it so badly.

He smiled softly to himself, reaching to the side, slipping out some photographs. He pressed them against the front cover and let out a moan, sinking more into the bath. The boy had looked exactly like the drawings of Misaki. He had even sounded just like he imagined.

As he panted at the thought, he began to read.

A few hours later, he felt like his body was on fire. That book had described perfectly what he had done to that boy... and he realised. That boy WAS Misaki. Misaki was a real person and he had had sex with him. His Misaki...

He took the photograph of the close up of his Misaki, just dropping the book in the water. Oh... his Misaki... he licked the photograph, imagining it was the real thing. His real Misaki. No longer just text but a living, breathing person. He was so glad he had left the boy alive.

Of course, he was going to have to find his love and truly make him his. As he chaste kissed the photo, a plan formed in his mind.

He knew exactly what to do.

"Soon... my love..." he whispered, stroking the photograph. "Soon..."

* * *

NOTE:

Dun, Dun, DUUUUUUNNN.


	11. Best seller

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

"Well... it's your best selling BL novel to date." Aikawa said, sitting opposite Akihito. "Not only do Critics love it but so do the fans."

Akihito rubbed his eyes before leaning forwards, picking up a new copy of Junia Romantica, resting his thumb against the middle page. He flipped it up, opening it. "I wasn't going to publish it..."

Aikawa looked down, a little ashamed. She had come in to collect the manuscript and found no one home- or rather she thought no one was home- and found a Akihiko's computer on the living room coffee table and had copied what she thought was a copied manuscript, not Akihito's personal writings. "Akihito... d... did that really happen to Misaki?"

Akihiko let out a sigh. "So it's too late to recall back the books?"

"Yeah... millions of copies have already been sold." Aikawa said quietly.

Akihiko covered his eyes. What should he do now? Should he tell Misaki that he wrote a book about what had happened to him and then it got accidently published? He wouldn't believe it was an accident. Also, where was he meant to take the series from the ending of that book? His character found the rapist and killed him. That could be an ending to the whole series.

Aikawa picked up another copy. "Maybe... you should show him the book." She flicked through it. "Maybe he'd like to see your feelings and what you wish you could do for him."

Akihiko was about to reply when the door to his room opened. Misaki came walking out, dragging Suzuki-san with him. He walked down the stairs sleepily and sat next to Akihiko. The older man smiled a little, placing his hand on Misaki's head. He rubbed the soft hair as Misaki leaned more into his touch.

"Did you take your medication?"

Misaki nodded. That explained his slightly drug induced state. But these were pills and now where near as strong as the injections.

"Misaki-kun." Aikawa said, smiling. "I bought you some puff pastries."

"Thank you." Misaki mumbled, smiling. He reached over for one on the table and ate slowly, Suzuki-san taking up most of his available arm space. He shifted his eyes and noticed the copies of the new BL novel and before anyone could stop him, Misaki picked up a copy. He flicked through the novel, stopping on a random page and looked at it.

"Misaki! I didn't mean for it to be published!" Akihiko said quickly, going to take the book.

But Misaki shifted out the way, putting Suzuki-san between them and rolled onto his side, reading. The room fell silent, watching him as he read.

About an hour later Misaki had read through the whole thing. He just held it to his chest. "I don't want you to hurt anyone."

"Misaki..." Usagi said, moving closer.

"I don't care if he is a rapist. I don't want you ever using violence for my sake. I could never live with myself if you got taken to prison because of me." Misaki said, pulling Suzuki-san back into his arms also, eyes still having that slightly drug-induced gaze about them.

Usagi guided Misaki down, making him rest his head on his leg- using it like a pillow. He slowly stroked Misaki's hair. He knew what he was about to say he'd hate... but it wasn't about him, it was about Misaki. "Alright... if that is truly what you want then I won't use violence if I ever meet him..."

Misaki pressed his face to Usagi's hip. "Thank you."

* * *

He was looking through archives, trying to find something that matched the photo in his hand, but every match was either dead or in jail.

But he was Genkei Ringo, one of the best detectives in Tokyo city!

He was trying to find a case that had photographs similar to the one he now held. He was sure this was not someone who had done this for the first time. This was a professional. But so far his searches had turned up nothing. He was going to have to talk to Misaki himself.

Ringo let out a sigh, resting his head against the desk. It was going to be loooong night.

* * *

NOTE:

Sorry for the shortness of this chapater. Next chapater is another important one. Also, what do you think of Ringo so far?


	12. Runaway

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

He was down that alleyway a-again! It was snowing, but there was no white anymore just red! And it was like fire on his skin and it groped and stuck to him. He let out a cry, curling slight, clinging at his hair. No matter how much better he felt he always had this horrible dream. And they had been getting worse, and worse and WORSE!

Before hand he would wake up before anything really happened. But now Misaki had to experience it over, and over again. He cried out again as he felt the figure made of snow buries itself deep inside him again. And move inside him again.

Each time he dreamed the dream went on a longer than the previous. He was pulled up, dangling off the floor- this was new. His eyes widened as the alleyway twisted and changed- changed into a room. A concrete room with concrete walls and floors. And he was dangling from a chain in the middle of the room.

"My Misaki..."

Misaki's heart stopped as someone walked out from the shadows. He couldn't see his face but this man was naked. He moved closer to Misaki.

"My Misaki..." the man repeated as he stroked Misaki's face. "Oh how... oh how I have wanted to see you again... to hold you... I shouldn't have left you." He slid his other hand up, stroking the inside of Misaki's thigh, kissing him forcefully.

Misaki panted, jerking away, making the chains rattle. No! Not again! He didn't want to be touched more than once by this guy!

"If that is so..." the man whispered into his ear. "Then why do you feel so hot inside?"

* * *

Misaki blearily opened his eyes. He could hear people shouted downstairs. It sounded like Usagi-san... and his brother.

It took a lot of strength and effort but he managed to get out of bed. He swore Usagi's sheets made him more tired. Maybe it was just that the smell of his lover calmed him enough to sleep. But Usagi wasn't in the bed next to him... that would explain why he had the nightmare. He shuddered... it felt like one of those dreams you recalled in a moment of déjà vu.

He moved quietly to the door and opened it. He was met by a rush of sound. The sound of a heated argument.

"JUST BECUASE YOU HIS BROTHER DOSEN'T MEAN YOU KNOW WHATS BEST FOR HIM!"

"I KNOW MORE THAN YOU! YOU'RE ONLY MY FRIEND AND HIS LANDLORD! YOU SHOULDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!"

"SHOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT? I'VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER HIM FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS NOW!"

"AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT! BUT RIGTHT NOW HE NEED FAMILY! ONLY FAMILY CAN HELP HIM!"

"TAKAHIRO! YOU HAVE A SON AND WIFE! YOU CAN'T JUST FORCE MISAKI INTO YOUR SITUATION!"

"HE'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER HERE SO I MIGHT AS WELL! WHAT IS HE GOING TO GET HERE ANYWAY? MORE HOUSEWORK? YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO BEEN LOOKING AFTER HIM! HE'S BEEN LOOKING AFTER YOU AND HIMSELF!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! I DO LOOK AFTER HIM!"

"IF YOU LOOK AFTER HIM THEN WHY DID YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE! WHY WAS HE RAPED?"

Misaki shut the door, panting heavily. He c-couldn't take this! The two people he cared most about in the world were yelling at each over him. They were too concerned about him! He didn't want that! He didn't want more people he cared about to get because of his selfishness!

He needed to go. He needed to get away.

Misaki grabbed his back, stuffing his clothes inside. He grabbed a number of other things too... one of Usagi's shirts. He... he needed the smell...

He grabbed a blanket too as well as all the money he had- his mobile too but he switched it off. He packed all he thought he would need in-between heavy panting fits. His heart was racing a million miles a minute as he choked back a sob. He pulled on a thick coat he had spare.

He knew he'd be caught if he tried to get out the main way- or if he even left this room. So he opened the window and took a leap of faith onto the fire exit metal stairs, reaching up on his tip toes to close the window behind him.

Misaki then started to quickly descend down the staircase, as carefully and quietly as he could. Once his foot hit the snow he dashed out, wanting to get away. Far, far away from arguing loved ones and those who were too concerned about his feelings. If they kept on worrying they would get hurt. If he disappeared they could forget about him! Then they'd be safe!

He didn't stop running, not even when a car swerved to miss him as he darted across the road. Not even when someone yelled at him to be careful. He just kept his hood up and kept running into the darkness.

He only stopped when he realised what he done.

He, Misaki, was now out in the cold city. He was in a dark alleyway filled with snow. Just like his nightmares.

He fell to his knees, hugging himself. This was the first time he had been out on his own since the incident... and he was so scared. He covered his mouth, trying to throw up or cry. He didn't know what to do. He was now lost and he didn't think he could move. All he could do is star in horror at the street-lamp light snow.

Misaki jumped as a soft hand rested on his shoulder. He trembled, curling onto his side in the snow. The hand then brushed his face gently before slide down. It whispered something to him before lifting him. Misaki couldn't resist, couldn't push away no matter how much he struggled like a frightened animal. He was too weak. So he just closed his eyes and was carried away.

* * *

NOTE:

I waaas going to write a lot more but I decided to be mean and make you wait XD

But hey, a least I update quickly.

Seriously guys, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. The only reason i write so quickly is becuase of them. The more i get the faster i write.


	13. Manami to the recuse

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Usagi-san opened his eyes. He could hear the doorbell ringing. He turned to look at the time- it was 2am! He sat up, grumbling slightly. He stroked Misaki's hair before getting up and going- shirtless- to answer the door. He would have to be quick otherwise Misaki would have another nightmare.

He opened the door slowly, having switched all the light on. On the other side was Takahiro- his wife standing behind them. Usagi blinked, opening the door. Takahiro entered without a word, getting out a bag. He then proceeded to take items of Misaki's and put them inside.

"H-Hey!" Usagi said, gripping Takahiro's hand. "What are you doing?"

"I've decided... Misaki's coming with us."

"W-what?"

"Don't you understand Japanese?" Takahiro said, yanking his wrist out of Usagi's grip. "I said Misaki is coming with us!"

Usagi-san's eyes narrowed. "Don't you think that's up to him?"

"No." Takahiro's eye narrowed, showing Usagi-san a side of him that he'd only seen once or twice before. "I decide what's best for him. I raised him."

Usagi-san grabbed the bad Takahiro was packing from him. "JUST BECUASE YOU HIS BROTHER DOSEN'T MEAN YOU KNOW WHATS BEST FOR HIM!"

"I KNOW MORE THAN YOU! YOU'RE ONLY MY FRIEND AND HIS LANDLORD!" Takahiro grabbed the bag from Usagi-san. "YOU SHOULDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!"

"SHOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?" He re-took the bag and threw it across the room. "I'VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER HIM FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS NOW!"

"AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT! BUT RIGTHT NOW HE NEED FAMILY! ONLY FAMILY CAN HELP HIM!" Takahiro slammed his fist onto the sofa backrest.

"TAKAHIRO! YOU HAVE A SON AND WIFE! YOU CAN'T JUST FORCE MISAKI INTO YOUR SITUATION!" Usagi-san shouted back, his fists clenching.

"HE'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER HERE SO I MIGHT AS WELL! WHAT IS HE GOING TO GET HERE ANYWAY? MORE HOUSEWORK? YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO BEEN LOOKING AFTER HIM! HE'S BEEN LOOKING AFTER YOU AND HIMSELF!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! I DO LOOK AFTER HIM!" He really wanted to his best friend right now.

"IF YOU LOOK AFTER HIM THEN WHY DID YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE! WHY WAS HE RAPED?"

Suddenly Takahiro felt something hit him across his face. His eye widened when he realised that it wasn't Usagi-san who had hit him.

Manami had slapped him.

"When will you stop being so selfish!" she said, clenching her fists. "Maybe being here is what Misaki needs and wants! You're always saying how you wish he'd be more selfish and maybe he staying here is his say of being selfish!" Her eyes narrowed. "He's almost 22! You don't have the right to make decisions for him anymore!" She took his hand. "You have a son and a wife! You're no longer that 18 year old who stood up to everyone to take care of his brother who was 10 years younger than him. MISAKI IS NO LONGER AN 8 YEAR OLD BOY! HE'S A GROWN MAN!"

"M-Manami..." Takahiro said quietly.

"And also- I think Usagi-san is the only one who can look after Misaki right now! He-..." Manami looked to Usagi-san. "He's the only one who can make Misaki truly better."

Usagi's eyes widened, speechless. She knew, she had to. And he saw acceptance in her eyes. He felt like he could cry. He covered his eyes, willing himself not to.

Manami turned back to her husband. "Please... let us talk to Misaki about it. Lets listen to what he really wants."

"A-alright..." Takahiro said. He sank down onto the sofa.

"I'll get him!" Usagi said, rushing away before he shed any tears. Maybe they needed to finally tell Takahiro the truth. He walked upstairs and into his and Misaki's bedroom. He gave it a small knock.

There was no reply so he walked in slowly. "Misaki...?" He blinked as there was no reply. He smiled gently as he stepped into the room. Misaki was sleeping.

"Misaki, wake up..." Usagi said, pulling back the sheets. But there were only pillows. His eyes widened and he yanked the sheet completely back. Panic strikes. Looking round the bedroom he could see that Misaki's stuff was gone. There was also a fresh line of snow on the carpet from the window. He ran over to it, almost tripping out and thrusted it open.

Fresh tracks on the metal fire escape were slowly being covered in snow.

He ran back to the door, yelling "MISAKI IS GONE! HE'S RUN AWAY!" and without waiting for a reply he ran back to the window and opened it, jumping through. He dashed down the stairs, no shoes on. He only had jeans on.

Usagi ran into the depths of the snow, looking frantically. Calling for him. Calling for his Misaki. There was no reply- no sign- nothing! Only the wind and snow replied to his calls.

He had to stop after a while to catch his breath, slumping to his hands and feet in the snow. "Misaki... Misaki... come back."

"Tell me... does Misaki had a very rare "The Kan" phone charm?"

Usagi looked over his shoulder. There was a man in a trench coat and a hat, looking down at him with hazel eyes. He growled, grabbed his man by the front of his coat. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MISAKI!"

"Whoa! Whoa!" The man said, waving his hands. "Take it easy!" he removed his hat, showing fair brown hair pulled back in a small plat, long bangs at the fronts which were caught in the wind. "I'm Detective Genkei Ringo. Ijuuin hired me to help catch Misaki's rapist."

Usagi loosen his grip a snatched what was in Ringo's hand- it was indeed Misaki's phone charm. "How did you get this?"

"I found it." Ringo said. "A kid ran in front of my car and my instincts told me to follow him, so I did. But it seems someone got to him before I could." He took off his coat, putting it round Usagi's shoulders. "C'mon, we need to get you inside before you freeze to death."

Reluctantly, Usagi let Ringo guide him back to his own home, watching the street behind him. If something else happened to Misaki, he wouldn't know what to do anymore.

* * *

NOTE:

My fastest update ever! Yaay!

Replys to reviewa (yes, I'm doing that now):

Shimaki-33 : X3 I like being called "Unny Gorey-sama". But just call me Gorey-sama, its easier. Oh, and no your not an idoit. And yes, you should be scared and excited about what goes on inside my head. Hee heee.

Miyuku-tan: Its okay X3 you tried very hard.

volaju66: Does that mean you'll have to go to rehab once I finish the story? Because at this rate it seems like it will be soon XD Maybe I should just write somthing else after.


	14. Suprize

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

When Misaki woke, the first thing he saw was the underside of the top of a four poster bed. The sides had been completely drawn across so it looked like he was in a tiny room. He also realised he was almost completely naked. He was wearing underwear, which made him relax a little. He found the opening of the bed curtain and poked his head through.

"Well, good morning there Misaki."

Misaki's mouth dropped open. "U... Usagi-chichi?"

It was indeed Akihiko's father who was sitting in a chair facing the bed Misaki was on. He smiled. "It's nice to see you again- even if you are far from healthy right now."

Misaki's shoulder sagged. "Yeah..." He rested back down on the bed, pulling the curtain back shut, suddenly feeling drained again.

Usagi-chichi opened the curtain. "So, where were you going last night?"

Misaki's eye widened- memories of last night's event returning. He gave a tiny groan and pressed his face to the pillow. "You were the one who found me, weren't you?"

"You cannot run away from you problems." Fuyuhiko Usami said quietly, placing his hand on Misaki's head.

"I wasn't running away from my problems." Misaki said, gripping the pillow a little. "I ran away because I didn't want Akihiko and my brother- Takahiro- to arguing over me."

"And you thought running away would help the situation you were in." Usami asked, knowing he wouldn't get a reply. "Especially after what happened to you."

Misaki turned his head from the pillow to look at Usagi-chichi. "How do you know about that...?"

He gave his normal smile. "I have resources."

Normally Misaki wouldn't accept that answer and ask further- but this was an Usami he was talking to so there was no point he asking. He just pressed his face back into the pillow.

"I must say, you seem to be coping much better than I thought you would be." Fuyuhiko said. "Most male rape victims in this country kill themselves from the shame alone."

"I've seen what death does to families..." Misaki said quietly. "I would never be that selfish."

Fuyuhiko blinked. He had never expected Misaki to say something like that. But then he never expected this boy to be able to yell at his son and he was proven gravely wrong. Misaki had a habit of surprising him. "So everyone's making a big fuss over you?"

"I hate it..."

"Well, it's to be expected." He said, scratching his head. "Considering that your brother raised you, he'll act like a parent. And if I was your parent I would force you to stay with me and the rest of the family as I would believe that was the best- especially if I didn't know that you and Akihiko were an item. And then, knowing my son as I do... he probably needs you with him as he would feel guilty that you got hurt in the first place and would never want to let you out of his eye just in case you got hurt again."

Misaki nodded. "Yeah... that's why they keep arguing."

Fuyuhiko leaned back in his chair. "And, I suspect that neither would actually get you the proper professional help you would need since they believe they are all you need."

Misaki blinked. "Professional help?" he looked at the older man. "But I've already had the Doctors check me out."

"But, I bet you haven't had a therapist to talk to." He stroked some of Misaki's hair out of his face. "Someone none judgemental to help you. Maybe even a hypnotherapist to help you sleep if you're having nightmares."

Misaki stared at the man, and then his eyes narrowed. "How good are your "resources"?"

Fuyuhiko chuckled. "Sometimes as good as good old fashioned common sense."

Misaki sat up, holding a pillow to his chest. "So are you going to keep me here or take me back to Usagi's?"

"I'll do whatever you want." Fuyuhiko said, leaning closer. "But my advice would be to stay here and let us help you."

Misaki thought about it. "Why do you want to help me? Last time we talked you said I was a nascence."

"That doesn't mean I don't like you." He ruffled Misaki's hair. "And, Akihito still needs you." He pinches Misaki's cheek. "And also I'd like to see you better so we can go wood carving!"

Misaki batted his hand away lightly, wincing. "Alright, I'll stay here for a while..." he puffed up his cheeks a little in announce.

Fuyuhiko patted him on the head. "Good boy." He stood just as someone knocked on the door. He opened it whispering to someone Misaki couldn't see.

Until the door opened completely.

It was Haruhiko.

Misaki let out a silent groan, fisting the blanket. He was the last person Misaki wanted to see- especially when he was nearly naked and in bed. He hugged the pillow tighter to himself as Fuyuhiko left and Haruhiko entered.

Haruhiko sat down on the chair by the bed. "Misaki, how are you?"

"F-fine." Misaki said, edging away from the man.

Haruhiko leaned closer. "Are you sure about that?"

Misaki nodded frantically. "Y-yes! You don't need to do anything for me! Really!"

Haruhiko brought out a small plate. "I brought you some strawberries... and cherries."

Misaki blinked. He began to snigger, then chuckle and before he knew it he was in fits of laughter. He didn't really know why he was laughing. All he knew was that he couldn't stop. And gripped onto the sheets as his laughter turned into body jerking sobs.

Haruhiko's eyes widened. He didn't really know what to do. "Misaki...?"

"M-my whole w-worlds turned up... upside down a-and you're s-still t-terrorising me w-with fruit!" He wiped at his eyes, laughing and sobbing- his emotions completely out of control.

Haruhiko stared, wide eyed at Misaki. He put the plate down and edged closer, putting his arms around the younger boy. This made Misaki blink- Haruhiko was cold like Usagi. He reached up and clutched the back of Haruhiko's suit, sobbing.

"I... I j-just want everything to be n-normal again..." he said between sobs, hyperventilating. "I d-don't want to be a b-broke doll like everyone thinks I am! Like Usagi-san thinks I am!"

Haruhiko stroked Misaki's hair. "You're not broken... you just... un-stitched." He leaned forwards, making Misaki rest, stroking his hair more. "You just need to find the thread to sew yourself back together. Whether... you can do that on your own or you need my brother's help will depend on you."

Haruhiko gave a small smile, leaving Misaki to sleep by drawing the curtain and dimming the lights. Misaki soon drifted into another nightmare filled sleep.

* * *

NOTE:

I bet you wern't exspecting that, were you?

Bloody Candy : Can't promise anything

lulubeck : It doesnt really have a meaning.


	15. Betrayer

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

He licked his fingers, letting out a little frustrated sound. It had been nearly 2 months since the photograph in his hand had been taken... 2 months since he foolishly left HIS Misaki in that alleyway...

He should have taken him with him.

He sat up, naked. He needed to find that boy again and make him his. Train him to love him and want him as much as he wanted Misaki. He wanted that boy he had read so much about in the BL novels he loved.

He made a frustrated sound, throwing a lamp across the room- it smashed. He was forever having women chase after him because of his good looks but he never got the ones he actually wanted!

It had been that way since High school. He had fucked so many women in that period of his life... but only one had he really cared about.

* * *

_He walked to the house of his best friend- Mitsu. He hadn't seen him for a couple of day because he was sick and he had decided to bring him some medicine. After all, he was hoping to become a doctor._

_When he got to the house he let himself in. It was smaller than his- but then Mitsu parents were still alive and were nowhere near as rich as his had been. As he entered it seemed to him that no one was home. Perfect._

_He went upstairs and entered Mitsu's room. He was greeted by the sight of a feverish Mitsu naked under his sheets. He walked over and sat on the floor by him, stroking his hair. "Red suits you."_

_"Nnn... Itsuki..." Mitsu groaned quietly, leaning into the friend's touch._

_"I thought you could use with something to help." He undid his bag, bringing out a fever medicine. He poured some into a measuring spoon and pressed it to Mitsu's lips. The slightly younger one opened his mouth, licking the liquid medicine as it was poured in._

_A little dribbled down the corner of Mitsu's mouth as he swallowed. Itsuki wiped it up and licked it off. "You really are out of it..." he watched as Mitsu panted, eyes half lidded, drooling. He wanted to fuck him so bad._

_"Itsuki... so hot... too hot..." Mitsu mumbled, gripping Itsuki's sleeve._

_Itsuki smiled slowly. "Want me to make you feel better...?" he slowly moved his hand down Mitsu's chest, down, down._

_"W-what are yo... you...?"_

_"Shh..." Itsuki whisper, stroking gently. He gave a little smirk. "You're already semi-hard."_

_"No! Stop!" Mitsu pushed at his best friend's shoulders. "I don't want to!"_

_But Itsuki ignored him, knowing he had no strength to resist. He rubbed faster and faster, a grin spreading on his face at all the little grunts and gasps that Mitsu was making. He didn't stop until Mitsu had realised._

_"Isn't that better?" Itsuki said, licking his hand clean._

_Suddenly, Mitsu's hand connected with Itsuki's face, knocking him over. He spat, wiping his face. He sat up. And looked down at Mitsu. He could see the sick boy shrinking under his death glare. "You dare hit me..."_

_Itsuki gript the sheet, yanking it out of Mitsu grasp and fully pulling it off. Before the sheet had even hit the ground he forced Mitsu's struggling legs open- pinning them with his knees. He pinned Mitsu's hands above his head with one hand, rendering him useless._

_"Itsuki- p-please... s-s-stop!" Mitsu cried out. "Stop it please!"_

_Itsuki watched his struggling friend for a few long moments before leaning close to him and whispering into his ear. "Why should I, when you body seems to be enjoying it so much."_

_Mitsu cries out loudly- practically screaming- as Itsuki pushed into him. He gripped Mitsu's wrists tighter as he was engulfed in pleasure. He moaned and he pressed deep, deep inside him, pressing his sweet spot._

_Mitsu let out a pathetic, breathless noise- his mouth open wide and head tilted back. Itsuki chuckled, leaning down and biting his neck. "Just relax..." he then moved his hip, causing Mitsu to do the complete opposite and tense._

_God, he was so tight. He moved faster, moving his hands to Mitsu's hips, knowing he wouldn't be able to fight back now. He hit that sweet spot over and over again, moaning deeply. It was so tight- he was in heave. He leaned down and kissed Mitsu, moaning, probing his mouth with his tongue. He got no response so he kept going. He did what he wanted. He even kept going when Mitsu screamed at the top of his lungs as his entrance filled with blood._

_Itsuki climaxed, pulling out to allow the stick white substance to coat Mitsu's chest as well as his insides. He stroked his hair. "See? That wasn't so bad."_

_But he got not response. The boy just had an expression of shocked pain. Itsuki frown, gripping his chin and turning he head. Still nothing. He gave an irritated sound, standing up. He dumped the sheet over him, leaving him. He didn't want this broken doll anymore._

_"M-monster..."_

_Itsuki turned around and looked down. Mitsu's little brother- Kyo- was standing there. Itsuki smiled, kneeling. "Hello little buddy."_

_The 6 year old backed off. "You... m..."_

_Itsuki frowned, gripping the child by his arm. "If you tell anyone what happened I'll kill you." He then smiled. "Understand?"_

_Kyo nodded before pulled his arm away. Itsuki walked past him. Kyo didn't move until the man had left. Once he had heard the front door shut, he moved slowly to his brother._

_Mitsu's eyes were glazed over, barely breathing from shock. Kyo kneeled down, stroking his face. "Nii-kan... Nii-kan..." he shook his older brother a little. "Wake up Nii-kan..."_

_But there was no reply, and there wouldn't ever be. He pulled the sheet more over his broken brother and pulled his head into his lap._

* * *

Usagi-san groaned, rubbing his eyes. "And he was only 17?"

"Yeah... Itsuki was 18 but his parents had been dead for a long time and he had no other relatives so he looked after himself." Ijuuin said, replacing a re-wetted towel onto Usagi's feverish head. He had mentioned to the man that his brother had a fever when he was raped and ended up telling the whole story.

"Nii-kan?" Usagi said, shifting the towel slightly. "I thought it was Nii-san?"

Ijuuin chuckled. "I once had tried to use the word "kun", but said "kan" instated and it stuck as a nickname" he smiled sadly. "Mitsu wanted to become a chief... and we used to joke about all the adventures he would have."

Usagi reached up and cupped Ijuuin's cheek a little. "And that's were the idea for "The Kan" came from, am I right?"

Ijuuin nodded, pulling away and turning back to his desk, drawing a few more lines. Ringo had contacted him late two days ago telling him that Misaki was missing and Usagi-san had gotten sick having almost caught hyperthermia while looking for Misaki. So Ijuuin moved in for a little while to help look after him and make sure he didn't run off to find him.

That was Ringo's job as he was the detective.

Not that Usagi had tried. He and Takahiro had to tie him to the bed at one point. Ijuuin knew that Takahiro had become very docile since his wife had slapped him and- as a result- he had become more helpful.

Also, due to the fact that he was now living at Usagi's he had to bring all his drawing equipment with him. And this latest issue of The Kan introduced two new characters. Usagi and Mi-Mi. He smiled softly as he sketched then slowly. If he couldn't make everything good in real life, then he would in his world.

* * *

NOTE:

Just woundering but what would you guys want me to do after this? Would you like me to do another JJR fic? Would you want it to be a follow on or something competely different? How anout an AU (ether a competely different setting or a verison of JJR were something else happen/ didn't happend)?


	16. A Step Closer

WARNING: YAOI AND RAPE FROM WORD GO! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm also dysexlic, so no mention of spelling and grammer. I do use spell checker and mircosoft word. And no, I don't want a Beta tester.

* * *

Misaki shakily fed himself. After he slept he felt anaemic. Once he had mentioned it to Usagi-chichi he had made him take a blood test but it showed he wasn't. The Doctor had put it down to stress and shock. But he really was getting much better.

He was able to go outside in the grounds as well as spend hours doing something constructive without feeling tired. His nightmares were still raging but his hypnotherapist had started to help with that. Haruhiko had very cleverly chosen a cute female hypnotherapist who had a motherly feel about her... but not so much he felt smothered. She was also pro homosexuality so he didn't feel so bad talking about him and Usagi-san.

Fuyuhiko had kept him thoroughly distracted with wood carvings, ducks and a number of other activities. One of the activities was business studies. Although Misaki had studied Economics for 3 years, Fuyuhiko was a master of business. And he now worked at a publishing company- so any tips were welcomed.

The sound of a small plastic container put in front of Misaki snapped him out of his musing. He frowned a little. "Even more medicine? I'm not that crazy or sick."

"It's just vitamins." Haruhiko in that slightly expressionless voice. He pushed up his glasses. "If you're shaking that much then your body might be lacking some minerals it needs. The medicine you are taking can sap a lot of those out. If not it will still help."

Misaki gave a little shrug. He picked up the little container with a number of different pills in it. They looked like vitamins and mineral tablets. He down them, swallowing.

"Sir." A maid seemed to appear from nowhere, bowing to Haruhiko. "There's a Detective Ringo here to talk to Mr Takahashi."

Misaki looked up at Haruhiko- even though his expression was blank Misaki could see that the older man was thinking hard. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Bring him in."

Once the maid had gone to fetch this Detective, Haruhiko gave Misaki a sideways glance. Misaki had his hand clamed to his forehead- his elbow on the desk. He was shaking slightly. "What... what does a D-Detective want with m-... me...?"

Haruhiko placed his large hand on Misaki's head. "I would have thought it would be obvious."

Before Misaki said anything in reply, the maid came back, a man with who had long brown hair tied back in a pony tail- bright green eyes and a strong jaw line. He was obviously only half Japanese. "Hello Misaki. I had real trouble finding you."

"What do you want, Detective?" Haruhiko said before Misaki could say anything else.

Ringo looked sideways at Haruhiko. "I was hired by Ijuuin- a friend of Misaki- to look into his case and try and catch his rapist." He looked back at Misaki. "I've done as much as I can without asking you for details of the event. But now I need to know everything. This guy really knew what he was doing and let almost no evidence."

Misaki looked at the floor. Haruhiko kneels in front of him. "Misaki- you don't have to if you don't want to."

"No... I need him to be caught before Usagi-san does anything stupid..." Misaki took a deep breath, and began to relay the event.

* * *

Nowaki rubbed his neck. Today was a rough day- many emergences because of the snow. He had even had to go back to that Akihiko's place because the guy had almost gotten pneumonia from being in the snow half naked. The reason had been that Misaki had gone missing.

He let out a sigh. Things just kept getting worse for those two's situation. Also, since Hiro-san had seen those two and worked out they were an actual couple he had gone into a weird mood. It was like he was completely rethinking his life. It scared Nowaki a little and he hoped that Hiro-san would feel better soon.

Nowaki was brought out of this thinking by someone next to him rummaging through a cupboard. "Ryuunosuke-sempi, what are you looking for?"

"Just looking at recent cases." Ryuunosuke mumbled. He handsome, but cocky with it. He had short brown- almost black hair as well as deep nut-brown eyes. He was fair skin and obviously did some form of exercise.

"Oh? Anyone in particular?" Nowaki asked him, and then took a sip of coffee from the cup he had forgotten he was holding.

Ryuunosuke didn't answer until he pulled out a file. He opened it and began reading. "Where is Mr Takahashi now?"

Nowaki blinked, then realised he was holding Misaki's file. "He's... gone missing."

Ryuunosuke lowered the file to look at Nowaki. "No sign of him what-so-ever?"

"Well, I heard that they've set a detective by the name of Ringo in it. He's looking into Misaki's case anyway but he's having a bit of trouble." Nowaki said, shrugging slightly.

Ryuunosuke handed the file back to Nowaki. "Well, but sure to be on standby just in case they do find him and he needs medical assistance." He turned to leave. "In fact, tell me if you hear anything in geranial. I know he's not my patient but I'm already worried."

"Yes Ryuunosuke-sempi." Nowaki said, watching him leave. He gave a little sigh, filing the file away. Everyone in the hospital was concerned about Misaki. Some just because of the fact that Ijuuin had paid for the highest service- and a lot were worried because of what had happened. Rape cases for boys his age often ended in breakdowns or suicide.

He looked at the clock- it was time for his shift to end. He would buy Hiro-san some flowers on the way back from work. He really did need cheering up. Although Hiro-san hadn't told Nowaki, he knew that he was going to Akihiko's place to make sure he's alright. It kind of made him sad that Hiro-san still ran to Akihiko... be he knew it was out of friendship and not relationship. Still also made him a little jalousie.

Not only that, but Misaki was one of his students. He had known the boy for years and hearing what had happen had switched something in Hiro-san's head. It was probably same thing that Nowaki had been thinking-

Something could come along at any time and turn the world on its head.

* * *

NOTE:

I am commisionible! Just note me if you want more details on what I can do and how much

Also, do any of you want to see Ringo partnered with anyone? Or just keep him as a detective?


End file.
